I know, I know, I know, it has been far too long since my last post, but in my defense, I've been going through some personal issues. How ironic that I haven't blogged in a bit about being single because I've been too busy with men that I was trying NOT to be single with....strange. Anyways, I digress.
Well, not really... So recently I was dealing with some lovely men who I've known for years and who "love me" but may not be "in love with me" - ahhh, that always feels so good to hear. What I realized was that after a while (especially if you've been friends with a guy first - and I say "guy" because I'm a heterosexual female, you can insert "woman" or "person" if that helps you see my point) they start taking your amazingness for granted. I realize that this happens in relationships, but I'm talking about PRE-relationshipness. They forget that yes, you are beautiful, and you two can talk about anything for hours, and you two have a million inside jokes, and their family loves you, and you make them laugh until their stomach hurts, and you challenge their thinking in a good way), and you are a unique, special individual that desires and deserves to be loved just like anyone else!!! So, what I realized was that I needed a freshness to my life. New people that have never met me before so that they can say, "That Megan, she's so amazing, it's strange she's still single, hmmm?" Even if you aren't attracted to them, at least you hear the words and feel the "love".
So, about a month ago, I was feeling like I needed a date, with myself of course (this IS a self-dating blog). So I got all pretty and took myself out to a bar/restaurant in Fort Greene where I knew a lot of men would be hanging out at the bar. I sat myself right on the corner, great socializing spot to talk to the bartender AND I would always have not one, but two men next to me to talk to. As, the night progressed, I started talking to D - divorced father of 2 who worked...somewhere in Long Island, but who thought I was "interesting", "beautiful", and "intriguing." Then there was J- runs a homeless shelter for men in NYC and felt the need to actually state within our conversation, "You know I'm hitting on you right now, right?" - I didn't say they'd all be winners now. Then there was R- 65 years old, but as handsome as they come - we bonded over traveling and to him I was, "one of the most amazing women he's met", and I "continue to impress him" with each statement I make. Sure, he's as old as my dad, but I wasn't there to get a date, I was there to feel good about myself - and THAT I did. I ended talking to two more men who gave me their numbers. They were kind and sweet and complimented me as well , and I was kind back. But there were no sparks so I just left it at that. I ended up going home feeling good and feeling like, yes, there are people still out there that recognize my amazingness. I, personally, had low self-esteem growing up and even though I'm a grown woman, every now and then it creeps back in...I always know it's withIN me, but sometimes a little external boost doesn't hurt.
I say all of this to say, sometimes, if you need a little boost then going out by yourself may be THE PERFECT remedy.
My blog, my opinion.
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